If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

I had a great session with a client this week where we talked about feeling insecure at work.

Any of these thoughts sound familiar?

I feel like a fraud.

Everyone is going to figure out that I don’t know what the heck I am doing.

What is being asked of me feels unnatural to who I am and what my strengths are.

Too often, I find myself saying yes or taking on more work than I can handle just to “prove my worth”.

I have trouble setting boundaries at work.

You are not alone.

I thought I’d share how I worked with my client to overcome these fears/challenges in hopes that you could work on this on your own.

3 Steps to Conquering Insecurities at Work:

1. Get clear on what you want

Spend some time sitting down and writing what would your job and/or work experience look like if everything was “amazing”? Stop complaining about what’s wrong and figure out what how you want things to change.

What would be different?

What would be the same?

2. Know your strengths

Write down what you bring to the table. They can be personality traits as well as true work “strengths”. The reason for this is that you can make sure that you are spending your time using your strengths as opposed to trying to improve your weaknesses.

For example:
• Great listener
• Creative
• Ideas generator
• Leader

3. Identify what you need to be successful

Finish this sentence: “I work best when…”

For example:
• I am recognized for my work
• I feel appreciated
• I am asked what works best for me instead of being told
• I am given space to figure things out on my own
• I work in a collaborative environment

Understand that your company or your clients have hired you for YOU.

Because of the unique skills/talents/strengths that you bring the table.

The combination of who you are.

It is up to you to own your career. It is not up to your manager or anyone else to manage it for you.

Take the initiative and make it what you want and then share that with whoever can help support that for you.

The other thing that my client shared with me that I found insightful and true was that most people are truly kind-hearted.

I remember when I worked in the corporate world there were a lot of personalities that were difficult for me to deal with.

I would stew and complain and let it fester to the point where I would physically feel sick.

These people may come across as mean (sometimes evil), annoying, competitive, etc. But at the end of the day, this behavior usually stems from their own insecurities.

Try to find common ground with them, to see the best. You’ll find that often brings out the best in them.

Otherwise, it is your career, your life that suffers.

Rise to the occasion.

Be intentional with your career.

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. – Annie Dillard

Image from Inc. article

I have known Natali for years and have watched her career with such admiration. She has taken so many risks and made sacrifices that have all paid off. I feel honored to have interviewed here.

Here is her story:

Tell me about what you do for work.

I am a technology reporter for CNBC. I work part-time for the network for now, which is perfect because I have a toddler and a bun in the oven six months along.

I never thought I would say that! I was a workaholic until I was blessed with motherhood at the age of 31 and even then I always thought I’d want to work full time. I am sure I will again but while my babies are little, I’m grateful that my TV career can progress slowly while I have the flexibility to raise my children in their infancies.

A woman I respect said to me recently, “As women, we can have it all. Maybe just not all at the same time.”

What type of work were you doing prior to what you are doing now?

I left CBS in April and was doing a very similar job for that network. Before I became an on-air reporter I was a print reporter.

What kinds of frustrations did you have with your previous job(s)?

Oh so many. Broadcast journalism can really mess with your heart. Not your head. Your heart. You have to hustle to get your stories to air, to be the one to front your stories, to present yourself in the way you want. And there are days when other news trumps your news and your story dies because Paris Hilton goes to jail or some guy pretends to lose his child in a weather balloon.

It’s hard not to take those situations personally and it can be heartbreaking to see a story you worked hard on die for some of the ridiculous stories that do get reported. I actually didn’t learn to deal with this well until I got pregnant with my oldest child.

I was working hard to get stories to air at CBS and had an unlucky run where a few stories were canceled consecutively. I was getting worked up and taking it personally and upsetting myself when I realized that I was carrying stress at a time when I should’ve been taking care of my baby. I gave myself a pep talk about not responding emotionally to email. It helped a lot!

Now when I see an email about a story not going the way I want it to, I remind myself that the person who sent that story is not out to destroy me – they just see the story going a different way than I do or don’t see the value that I do. Once I learned to stop reacting so emotionally, I learned to deal with the situations at hand much better. That’s not to say that I don’t initially feel emotional about my pieces but I can talk myself off a ledge a lot easier now.

How did you come to discover this was what you were meant to do?

I fell quite backwards into television because of some coaxing from a pro who knows the business. It was actually Adam Curry, the former MTV VJ. He called me out of the blue one day and encouraged me to try my hand on camera and helped to teach me how. That was 5 years ago and I still can’t believe that happened. I look back on that phone call as one of the turning points in my life.

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball. I’m just glad I swung at it.

What fears did you have to overcome to take the leap?

You have to have a level of confidence and stupidity to step in front of a camera and tell a story with authority. The day before my first on-air show, I called my father with trepidation and I’ll never forget what he said to me. He said, “Natali, who else can do it better than you? Do you know of anyone?” I have a lot of talented friends but I did think that I was one of the most qualified for the job I was about to embark upon. I remind myself of that every time I go on camera. Who can do this better than you?

There may be plenty of names that could be used to answer that question but I know that I am at least in the top echelon. You have to believe that or you’d crumble when the red light comes on.

What do you love most about what you do?

I love learning about a new story and then being the one to tell that story. There is always something new to discover, research, report. My husband is an anchor on Fox so we are usually working on breaking news at the same time and we both get pretty worked about current events. I love that.

There is also something else kind of silly. When you do morning television, you have to get up at ungodly hours but there is this feeling that when other people are waking up at 7 a.m., you already know everything that is going on in the world. It’s a bit of a rush to feel ahead of the game like that so early in the morning.

My husband knows that regularly, whereas I can be on any show throughout the day so he knows this feeling more regularly. Still, being a morning person, it is one of my favorite things about television. The sun rising, a hot cup of tea, and feeling so ahead of the game. 

If you were to give advice to people thinking about changing careers, what would it be?

Be ready to swing at the curve balls! Imagine if I hadn’t entertained that phone call from Adam Curry so many years ago. I may have never tried my hand at TV, which means I wouldn’t have moved to New York, or met my husband, or had this family, or had the chance to work for the national network and cable news channels. I swung at a pitch that I wasn’t even sure was for me!

To learn more about Natali Morris, check out her website: www.natalimorris.com

With the 49ers now in the playoffs, I’ve been reading and hearing a lot about our coach Jim Harbaugh.

From a football perspective I’ve seen what he’s done with my husband’s alma mater, Stanford and now with the 49ers and it’s hard not to be impressed.

But what I’ve been most impressed with is the life lessons that I’ve seen from him that I wanted to share with all of you.

3 Life Lessons from 49er Coach Jim Harbaugh

1. “Who’s got it better than us? Noooobodddy!!!!” – The story goes that when Jim was growing up, he and his brother and sister lived in a very modest house without a lot of material possessions.

But their dad, college coach Jack Harbaugh, would often gather his kids around and say, “Who’s got it better than us? Nooooboddy!” And now Jim has started that in his pep talks to the 49ers. It has spread like wildfire.

Bottom line, attitude is everything. Whatever is going on in your life right now, it can all be changed by your perspective alone.

2. Frederick P Soft – Jim introduced his team to a four-inch guy who sits on your shoulder and talks right into your ear. He named him “Frederick P Soft”.

He’s the voice that keeps you complacent and soft. That tells you that you don’t have to work hard or that you should just stay in the shadows and not ruffle any feathers. How many of you feel like you have allowed Freddie P. Soft to take over your life?

3. “Attack this day with enthusiasm unknown to mankind!” – Every day when Jim’s dad would drop his kids off to school, he would say to them; “attack this day with enthusiasm unknown to mankind!” I love that!

It is essentially the antithesis of Freddie Soft. So many people I talk to continue along with their days without any sort of enthusiasm.

What if you were to live by that mantra for one day? What do you think you would accomplish/experience in that day?

If you know someone who you think could use a 49er pep talk, please share this post.

And…GO NINERS!!!

Happy New Year!

2011 was a very big year me.

We welcomed a beautiful little girl into our lives, we moved into a new house, my son started preschool, my husband changed careers and I moved into my first office space.

Wow, I hadn’t written it down like that and really thought about all that had happened.

Anyhow, now we are on to a new year…2012.

I’ve been reading a lot of articles and headlines about making New Year resolutions and whether they are a good thing or a bad thing.

Personally, I think you should do whatever works for you.

I’ve thought about making a list of intentions which I have made in past years.

I’ve also contemplated making goals for the year.

But the truth is my life is very busy right now and I don’t have a whole lot of time to really pour into resolutions/goals/intentions right now.

I imagine most of you feel the same.

So instead I am trying something new this year. Something that I dabbled in last year and it worked.

I’m starting with just thinking about what I want in my life.

Because it is impossible to think about this while at home. (Bottles to clean, laundry to do, has dinner been made?, diapers to clean, emails to respond to…you get the point) I decided that I needed to head out of the house to get some clarity.

First, I set up a meeting with the brilliant Erin Brennan of Brennan Brand for a brainstorming session. We started by talking about what I want in my life.

I made sure that I did not worry about the “how”, just what I want.

Here are some of the things that were on my list:

• Personal chef
• Yoga 2x/week
• Quarterly trip with girlfriends
• Quarterly trip with husband
• Get back to Italy
• Date night 1x/week
• Monthly dinner with girlfriends
• Get into better shape than pre-baby
• Quarterly massage
• Go to the movies 1x/month

Immediately without making “resolutions” or goals, I started getting into action.

• Book weekly babysitter
• Talk to husband about a trip in the Spring
• Email personal trainer friend to set up a time to work out together
• Post on Facebook asking for best yoga studio close to my new house

And for things like “personal chef”, I’m just talking about it and imagining how great it would be.

I don’t know how it’s going to happen. But I have faith that it will…

I recommend that you make a plan with yourself to set aside time (outside the office and home) to make a list of what you want. If you do nothing more than that, you are ahead of the game.

Here’s to a great 2012…!

*For those of you who are interested in working with me, I will be accepting a limited amount of new clients in February so please email me now if you want to get on that list.

I love today’s interview as there are a few lessons in her story that I see repeated in so many of the “Aha Moment” stories.

*Often we come to great discoveries through life’s hardest challenges.

*It is when we are helping people when we feel most fulfilled. (I love a Mozilla ad I recently saw that said “Work for mankind, not for the man.”)

Here is her story:

Tell me about what you do for work.

I am a holistic healer and creator of Nectar Essences, a line of organic aromatherapy products for mind-body wellness. I practice 4 days a week and run my product line on the side.

I practice Quantum Energetics, a touch based healing system developed by a Chiropractor and Acupuncturist. My clients come from diverse backgrounds and ages, and many of them are children and babies. While most of them face health issues ranging from recurrent infections, digestive issues, injuries, learning challenges and behavioral issues, most of them receive permanent relief, not from touch and nutrition alone, but by addressing and releasing emotional stressors.

My work is dedicated to creating health through emotional well-being. I love helping people discover this through healing touch and my little Nectar Essences potions.

What type of work were you doing prior to what you are doing now?

I worked in financial services for a boutique firm before starting my holistic health practice in 2003. In 2009, I took the leap and started my product line.

What kinds of frustrations did you have with your previous job?

I enjoyed my job in finance as it led me to meet some fantastic people and develop a strong work ethic. I could have even imagined a life where I continued in that path. However, I knew my true calling was to help people discover their emotional, mental and physical well-being. Working in finance couldn’t have been any more opposed to that goal!

I was becoming the typical stressed out American – working 10 plus hours in front of a computer, eating lunch at my desk, become more and more cerebral and less and less physical. Those years offered me a peek into the ’real world’ which, today, has given me a better understanding when my clients say: “I’m too busy for a wellness routine.”

How did you come to discover this was what you were meant to do?

I feel truly blessed that I found my calling in Holistic Healing at 21. It didn’t come easy. I was riddled with health issues and pain from several car accidents.

Fortunately, I found Quantum Energetics Structured Therapy and it helped my body heal from colitis, fatigue, allergies, back and neck pain. After the very first session, I knew I had found my life’s work. I have been a practitioner for 10 years and I love love love it.

What fears did you have to overcome to take the leap?

The leap from finance to holistic healing was a fairly easy one. I was married at the time, and my husband supported me both financially and emotionally.

The leap from my practice to the product line was much harder. I turned 30, got divorced, closed my practice and moved back home to the Bay Area. I needed a sabbatical from my holistic health practice to care for myself. I was shell-shocked, but my decision felt totally authentic. Nectar Essences was already in development at the time, and it just felt right to go full force. I just close my eyes and leapt.

I plunged into the business with what one might call reckless abandon. I’ve had to overcome much bigger fears once the company was off and running!

What do you love most about what you do?

I love being a witness to the changes in my clients’ lives. When a client first comes to see me, they are often depressed, in pain and cannot understand why they feel so poorly. As we uncover the layers of blocked emotions and help them create healthier lifestyle practices, they begin to fall in love with themselves, their bodies and their lives.

I also love receiving phone calls and email testimonials from customers whom I’ve never met. It’s awesome to hear that they’re slept better from using my Sleep Remedy or managing their stress with the help of my De Stress spray.

If you were to give advice to people thinking about changing careers, what would it be?

Ask lots of questions. Ask for help. Talk to anyone and everyone who has changed careers or redefined themselves. I’ve never meant an Entrepreneur who has said that they regretted following their dream!

Check out her website and products here: http://www.nectaressences.com/

I’m really excited to bring you today’s interview as it is quite different than most interviewees that we’ve had. What I think that all of you will really respond to is that he doesn’t do just one thing.

He really has found “what he’s made for” and has pursued all avenues. Truth be told, we are all good at many different things and for some of us, what makes life interesting is exploring all of those talents.

Be sure to check out his website: www.markradcliffe.net

Here is his story:

Tell me about what you do for work.

I have two careers, actually. By day I’m a writer, and by night I’m a musician. My writing consist of both a career in advertising as well as various fiction and essay-writing exploits. As for my music, I’m a singer/ songwriter, performing both on guitar and piano, performing mainly in New York, but occasionally touring nationally. I have two albums out, all on iTunes, Pandora, Spotify, etc. and am writing the third now.

What type of work were you doing prior to what you are doing now?

I joke with friends that I’ve already had 10 other careers even before my current two. I was an English teacher and counselor at a private school right out of college, then studied acting and film for a while (and correspondingly was a waiter/ bartender). But I’ve also been a lawnmower, a driveway sealer, an SAT tutor, public speaker, and dabbled in standup comedy.

What kinds of frustrations did you have with your previous job(s)?

The most difficult period was probably when I was a teacher. It wasn’t so much the intense daily schedule–that was actually rewarding in a sense. The hard part for me was the monotony–having the exact same schedule every day. I hated knowing exactly what my day was going to be like for the next 30 years. I’ve learned I thrive on variety and unpredictability. Now with my two careers, every month is a new set of challenges. And in the years since I’ve left teaching, I’ve lived in over 8 cities in every corner of the country.

How did you come to discover this was what you were meant to do?

I’m not sure I really ‘knew’ anything at the time. All I knew when I quit teaching was that I had this vague instinct that I wasn’t ready to grow old in front of a chalkboard in a small town in Maine. I knew I had so much more that I wanted to express. That I wasn’t quite ready to only help others express themselves. I thought it might be in writing, but I thought it also could be in film, or music, or even architecture. Whatever it was, it was going to be creative in nature, of that I was certain. (The hard part was figuring out how to make a living at it.)

What fears did you have to overcome to take the leap?

Quitting my career as an established private school teacher took a great deal of faith, and I encounter a lot of rolled eyes from family and friends at the time. It was a classic example of “jump and a net will appear.” I had no idea what I was going to do next, when I quit at 25, but I knew that if I didn’t, I sure wasn’t going to figure out my next move just by sitting around. I knew that I’d have to expose myself to utter failure and joblessness to create the kind of urgency wherein I’d make a solution happen.

What do you love most about what you do?

What I love now is that my life is about expressionism, whatever form that may take. Some days I’m writing songs and performing in front of 100 people. Some days I’m writing a national ad campaign or creating an international website. Other days I’m working on my novel. Another day I’m publishing an essay on single life in New York. I get to travel a lot, too, whether it’s shooting commercials on location, or doing a month long West coast music tour.

If you were to give advice to people thinking about changing careers, what would it be?

Well I’d say a few things:

1) Do your homework first. A successful career change is not simply about “just going for it!” You’ve got to balance a number of factors, and do your research. It’s one thing to have an instinct, such as ‘I really love acting,’ but it’s another thing to ask yourself, “Am I truly ready to commit to the daily realities that being an actor really entails?” (constant rejection, postponed financial reward, working a 2nd job, constant uncertainty). A lot of us have romanticized notions of what certain careers are like, and we later find out they’re not like what we envisioned at all. This pertains to a lot of lawyers I know – a path I almost went down myself since given my background an English major and debater. But most lawyers don’t get to argue passionately in a courtroom defending an innocent victim–they end up filing 300 pg documents, sitting in a small cubicle. And they’re very frustrated. So whatever career you think you want, make sure you really get to know it first–shadow someone in it for a week or do informational interviews, etc.

2) Every career has a pile of bullshit included, so don’t think there’s some bullshit-free life out there waiting for you. (If you’re a musician, it’s probably poverty and living on the road; if you’re a successful doctor, there’s still stress, long hours and bureaucracy; if you’re a pro athlete, there’s injury, public obligations & being away from your family; if you’re a writer, it’s loneliness, deadlines and torturing yourself over the details.) Just figure out what pile of bullshit you’re willing to deal with.

3) If you are unhappy, there’s probably something else you could be doing, and it’s almost your moral imperative to seek it out. This is partially as an obligation to yourself to maximize your own potential, but partially to society so you’re not another angry, depressed citizen who’s unpleasant to be around. I swear there’d be a lot fewer bar fights, a lot less divorce, and a lot fewer “going postal” incidents if most of the world were happier with what they were doing with their lives.

4) My biggest advice: Whatever you like to do in your free time, there’s probably a career for that. My step-sister laughed at this and said, “I like to talk on the phone with friends, how does that get me a job?” And I said, “Well, embrace that; you’re a communicator; you could be a presenter, or a tech support specialist who solves problems for people on the phone, or you might be an amazing hotel manager who has to constantly manage lots of people.” She’s now a high school counselor with a masters in social work.

If you like to plan parties, you could be come a wedding planner or an event coordinator.

If you like to complain, you might be a great standup comedian or joke writer for Conan.

If you like redecorating your apartment, look into interior design, or set design at a movie studio.

If you love reading, you could be a book critic, or a script reader at Paramount.

If you like tinkering with stuff in a woodshed, or played with Legos, you could be an engineer or invent the next iPod.

For me, I just always needed to write. I couldn’t go a day without doing it from age 14 & on. From keeping a journal, to writing letters to friends (or girls), or poetry, or short stories. It was a compulsion I was born with – to express myself in some way. It just took me a while to find out a way to bet paid reliably for it. But I’m glad I kept searching. When you find a career that comes out of something you do naturally, it doesn’t feel like “work,” it just feels like you being you.

www.markradcliffe.net

They say that the best businesses are created out of a need. And such is the case with Lynn Perkins who started UrbanSitter. As a mom, I definitely can relate to missing out on events because I couldn’t find a sitter.

Here is her story:

Tell me about what you do for work.

I am the co-founder of UrbanSitter.com, which makes booking a trusted babysitter as easy as booking dinner reservations. UrbanSitter provides trust and efficiency by leveraging members’ established networks to match families with caregivers. Parents can search, book and review trusted sitters within minutes.

What type of work were you doing prior to what you are doing now?

Prior to founding UrbanSitter, I worked for Joie de Vivre Hospitality, developing and renovating boutique hotels throughout California.

What kinds of frustrations did you have with your previous job(s)?

I really enjoyed my job at Joie de Vivre Hospitality, but was getting the itch to start a business of my own.  When Joie de Vivre decided to expand outside of California, I knew that my work travel would become more extensive.  I realized it was a good time for me to leave the company to develop my own business idea.

How did you come to discover this was what you were meant to do?

I had had my ‘aha moment’ at home on a Sat. night while my friends enjoyed a dinner reservation that I had booked….all because I couldn’t find a babysitter for my twin boys. It seemed to me that parents should be able to find and book a trusted sitter as quickly as you can find and book a date night restaurant reservation. So, my co-founders and I put our heads together and ultimately, created UrbanSitter.

What fears did you have to overcome to take the leap?

My biggest fear was moving from a job that had considerable structure and clear goals to the vastness of starting something from scratch.  It can be overwhelming to think about all of the things that need to be accomplished when you start a business.  When you couple that with not knowing if the business will work–or if you will earn a paycheck again–it can be really daunting.

I work best when I create a timeline and clear deliverables for myself.  Being able to focus on just a few components of what I need to accomplish makes me more efficient and less distracted by the sheer volume of responsibilities.

What do you love most about what you do?
As an entrepreneur, it is incredibly gratifying to know that every ounce of work you put in directly benefits you and your company. I also love receiving positive feedback from sitters and parents who use UrbanSitter.

When a sitter tells me that they are finding more work through our site, and that they like the families they’ve met, I feel good about the services we are offering to sitters.  When a parent tells me that they had a relaxing evening out because they felt comfortable with the sitter they found on our site, it makes my day.

If you were to give advice to people thinking about changing careers, what would it be?

Hands down, I’d tell them to surround themselves with great people. Building and running a startup has its ups and downs.  Working with talented people, who you like professionally and personally, will make the good times even better and the rough times easier to navigate.  I think it is good to find people who have skills and strengths in areas that are different from your own.

My co-founders’ roles and skill sets are very different from mine.  Their responsibilities are critical for the success of UrbanSitter – they are fantastic at what they do and I genuinely like spending time with them.

I’m excited to bring to you today the story of investment banker turned online home decor entrepreneur, Stephanie Shum. She recently launched her gorgeous website, Muhs Home and here is her story.

Tell me about what you do for work.
I can tell you what I’ve been doing over the past several months in preparation for the launch of my webshop, but I would hardly call it “work.”

I’ve been spending about 14 hours per day doing any combination of the following: sourcing and buying small home furnishings like tabletop items and linens from as far as Japan and Finland and as close as Berkeley (many of which are made on a small scale by a single workshop); organizing inventory; designing the webshop; working with a team of web developers to get the webshop just right; and doing photo shoots so the products are well represented.

I’m very much excited for the part where I actually get to share all the beautiful objects with others through the shop, as well as the stories behind the objects, and perhaps even make some sales!

What type of work were you doing prior to what you are doing now?
I was in investment banking for seven years, basically helping companies raise funding through the capital markets by figuring out the appropriate type and structure of securities for them to sell and matching them up with the right investors.

What kinds of frustrations did you have with your previous job?
I actually created a nice little niche for myself within the firm. The work was interesting, challenging and exciting. And I got to work with a team of guys who were both genuinely nice and very smart. But after years of doing basically the same thing, it felt like my job was becoming more administrative in nature than anything else.

Plus, I didn’t feel like I was being recognized enough for my work. The stress on my body from working endless hours at a desk wasn’t helping matters either.

How did you come to discover this was what you were meant to do?
The discovery that I wanted to open my own shop happened slowly over several years. It’s really a combination of several things: my love of the intersection of certain Japanese and Scandinavian design aesthetics, wanting a good excuse to visit those parts of the world on a regular basis, seeing that it was difficult to find all those great design pieces here, and my desire to put my energy into something where I had more ownership.

You might describe the shop as somewhat anti-mass consumerism, which is just a little contradictory because it is a shop selling things. But if you’re going to be buying things for your home — your place of safety, relaxation and comfort — hopefully you bring in only the things that you absolutely love and will cherish. It’s easy to buy mass-produced items because they’re very accessible and function well enough. But that also means that you might not care for them as well because you know you can easily replace them. That can get very wasteful.

With the shop, my objective is to share timeless (not trendy) and functional home furnishings that are well made. This might mean that many of the objects may be more simple and understated, but that’s what makes them more versatile among different homes and generations. And hopefully allows you to better appreciate the craftsmanship behind each item.

What fears did you have to overcome to take the leap?
Once I figured out I wanted to do this, the only thing I got truly nervous about was telling the people closest to me. I didn’t know if they would think it were silly to give up a cushy job for venturing into entrepreneurship where the results are always uncertain. Having support is very important when you’re making a big life change, and I feel very fortunate to have that.

What do you love most about what you do?
I’ve enjoyed making connections with people around the world. I’ve had the honor of meeting with artisans in their workshops, watching them work with their hands and seeing the passion in their eyes and smiles as they talk about their craft.

And I can’t leave out this part: Each day that I receive new inventory feels like my birthday, but better! I’ve found myself hanging out in my stockroom on occasion, just staring at all the lovely inventory.

If you were to give advice to people thinking about changing careers, what would it be?
Honestly, I don’t think I’m far enough along my new career to be offering advice. But I can say that it’s been the best decision for me. In my old job, I’d have regular massage and acupuncture sessions to deal with stress that manifested itself as pain in my neck, shoulders and lower back.

Shortly after leaving banking, all the pain and knots went away. And that’s really something, considering I was lugging my suitcase every day during a four-month sourcing trip across Japan and Europe, and back home, I’ve been busy handling large shipments and even building the shelves for the stockroom. That all sounds pretty strenuous, but I’ve never felt better.

Here is the first Aha Moment interview that we have done via video!

Great story with Caroline Fey of City Kitchen…

Last week we welcomed into the world a beautiful little baby girl.

It is the second child for my husband and I (or third if you count our first “child” – our dog).

I thought I’d share my most recent learning through this experience in hopes that it may help some of you as well.

I was very nervous how this labor and first week after her arrival would go as I had a really hard time in the beginning with my son.

With my first child, labor with him was extremely difficult and painful and he had some digestive issues that made him cry a lot due to being in pain.

Also, being a first time mom was stressful, challenging and all around a big life changer.

I was worried that all of those things would happen again this time.

So far it has been the opposite.

Labor went really smoothly.

Our little girl has been really “easy” – sleeping most of the time and hardly ever fussing.

And so through this experience, I have thought back to how I beat myself up the first time around comparing my experience to others.

Because I now see how different the experience can be based on the set of circumstances.

I didn’t understand that the first time around.

I didn’t understand why some people said they were on cloud nine with their newborn. How they “loved this phase”.

I thought, “What is wrong with me??”

Why do we immediately put blame on ourselves and assume something is wrong with us when we have experiences different than our peers?

The bottom line is that I had a really difficult recovery from my labor, I didn’t have a ton of help and I had a baby who needed to be held and soothed all of the time.

I did the same thing when I worked at jobs that I hated. I looked at my coworkers who “loved” their job and drank the company Kool-Aid and once again asked myself, “What’s wrong with me?”

Now that I have a second child where the experience has been completely different due to the different circumstances, I have a new perspective.

One of my favorite sayings is: “Don’t compare yourself to others, their journey is different than yours.”

I have a deep rooted belief that we are all here to learn and grow and we are given different challenges in life in order to do that.

But those challenges are going to be different for each of us, as are the lessons we learn from them.

• If money is really tight for you right now but not for those closest to you, accept that is your challenge right now.

• If you are the only one that is single in your group of friends, understand that is your challenge right now.

• If you are unhappy in your job but your coworkers are thriving, recognize that is your challenge right now.

This doesn’t mean you should idly sit back and play the victim.

It means accepting your challenges for what they are and what they aren’t.

They are not a reflection of something being “wrong with you.”

We often cannot change our challenges or circumstances as they are often out of our control.

What we can change is our perspective around them.

If you are experiencing something right now where you feel alone, understand that how you feel is how you feel.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

There is a reason you feel how you feel.

So, get through it however works best for you, take a step back to see how you can grow from it and move forward.

Don’t look sideways at those around you comparing yourself and your experiences to them.

Their journey is different than yours.