The Most Common Problem I See With Clients

Today’s post struck a particular chord with me.

For me, so much of this issue of “good enough” comes down to two factors in my experience:
1.) External values imposed upon us versus the internal worth we have
2.) The timeline we envision versus surrendering to the unknown

First, we predicate so much of our internal worth on how the world sees us, how we measure up to others, and how we are subconsciously socialized to want, and to strive, and to reach for something in some sort of progressive, forward-moving, linear way.

Achieving one’s goals, though, and being “good enough” is a recursive process. I think if we take two steps back, we deem ourselves failures, as opposed to realizing the two steps back is part of the process.

Instead of moving in a forward direction towards our goals, it’s more like a cycling forward. We go forward and backward all while we head in the direction of our goals–as long as we believe we will get there at some point.

However, in the midst of the cycling backward, the critic mind takes over–”not good enough”; “it has all been done before”; “I don’t possess _____ quality, therefore it’s not a worthy idea”–and we forget there is a forward motion, too…moments when we are good enough, when we have made the right moves. Yet that knowledge has to reside within–it can’t be affirmed outside of us.

Secondly, timing. We are continually stimulated with immediacy in all facets of our lives. We do and receive so much today “on demand.” The “on-demandedness” of our lives today sets up a false expectation that our timelines are much short than they are.
Achieving what we want requires commitment and time…sometimes more than we think. Yet when things don’t work out in the time we plan them, our critic mind takes over once again with the same mantra: “not good enough”; “it’s all been done before”; “I don’t possess _____ quality, therefore it’s not a worthy idea.”

Anything we want requires a willingness to be secure with discomfort, the unknown, insecurity–and, at times, a whole lot of it. Under all these layers of doubt and uncertainty is our good-enough self.

If we can sit with our discomfort in the same way we sit with our successes–with confidence–our “good-enough” selves will emerge. And the more we can sit with ourselves with confidence, the better we get at achieving what we want.

This post could not have come at a more perfect time. I’m in the process of starting my own business and I hear that little voice in my head a couple of times a day now. I just remind myself why I’m venturing out on my own and that it’s not going to be perfect but all I can do is give it 100%. Love your blog….and the advice you share.