Happy New Year!

2011 was a very big year me.

We welcomed a beautiful little girl into our lives, we moved into a new house, my son started preschool, my husband changed careers and I moved into my first office space.

Wow, I hadn’t written it down like that and really thought about all that had happened.

Anyhow, now we are on to a new year…2012.

I’ve been reading a lot of articles and headlines about making New Year resolutions and whether they are a good thing or a bad thing.

Personally, I think you should do whatever works for you.

I’ve thought about making a list of intentions which I have made in past years.

I’ve also contemplated making goals for the year.

But the truth is my life is very busy right now and I don’t have a whole lot of time to really pour into resolutions/goals/intentions right now.

I imagine most of you feel the same.

So instead I am trying something new this year. Something that I dabbled in last year and it worked.

I’m starting with just thinking about what I want in my life.

Because it is impossible to think about this while at home. (Bottles to clean, laundry to do, has dinner been made?, diapers to clean, emails to respond to…you get the point) I decided that I needed to head out of the house to get some clarity.

First, I set up a meeting with the brilliant Erin Brennan of Brennan Brand for a brainstorming session. We started by talking about what I want in my life.

I made sure that I did not worry about the “how”, just what I want.

Here are some of the things that were on my list:

• Personal chef
• Yoga 2x/week
• Quarterly trip with girlfriends
• Quarterly trip with husband
• Get back to Italy
• Date night 1x/week
• Monthly dinner with girlfriends
• Get into better shape than pre-baby
• Quarterly massage
• Go to the movies 1x/month

Immediately without making “resolutions” or goals, I started getting into action.

• Book weekly babysitter
• Talk to husband about a trip in the Spring
• Email personal trainer friend to set up a time to work out together
• Post on Facebook asking for best yoga studio close to my new house

And for things like “personal chef”, I’m just talking about it and imagining how great it would be.

I don’t know how it’s going to happen. But I have faith that it will…

I recommend that you make a plan with yourself to set aside time (outside the office and home) to make a list of what you want. If you do nothing more than that, you are ahead of the game.

Here’s to a great 2012…!

*For those of you who are interested in working with me, I will be accepting a limited amount of new clients in February so please email me now if you want to get on that list.

If you have been a reader of my blog, you know that I am a big fan of stepping out of your comfort zone and taking risks.

I believe in challenging yourself.

I believe in taking one step back to take two steps forward.

There have been a few times in my life where I taken the harder road in order to get to where I eventually wanted to be.

1. College - I had always wanted to go to UCLA. My sister went there, a lot of my friends were going there. But I didn’t get in right out of college. Instead I went to UCSB and immediately applied to UCLA for a transfer. Even though I studied my butt off, I didn’t get in again. The counselors told me it was because they make it extremely difficult to transfer from UC to UC schools. Otherwise, everyone would get into one school and transfer into UCLA or UC Berkeley.

They told me that my best shot was going to a community college in LA and transferring in that way. At the time this felt like a huge blow to my ego. I had been in all A.P. classes in high school, had a very good GPA (just not good enough for UCLA!) and had never thought to go to a community college.

But my end goal was to go to UCLA. And as my mom has always told me, if there is one word she’d use to describe me, it’d be determined.

So I went to Santa Monica City College. And then, alas, I got into UCLA. I ended up having to complete three different college general education class requirements. Which basically meant I carried over a full load of classes at all times. But it was worth it. I graduated with a degree from UCLA and that was all that mattered.

One step back. Two steps forward.

2. Italy - When I was 27 years old, I was living in NYC working for Gap, Inc. in the design department as a product manager. I had a “great life” on the outside. A great job. Great friends. Great place in Soho. Great salary. But inside I felt miserable.

I knew in my heart that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be.

I came across a Walt Whitman poem called Song of Myself where one line in particular spoke to me: “You must travel for yourself.”

My left hand hooking you round the waist,
My right hand pointing to landscapes of continents and the public road.

Not I, not any one else can travel that road for you,
You must travel it for yourself.

It is not far, it is within reach,
Perhaps you have been on it since you were born and did not know

It hit me that I couldn’t expect anyone to know my journey. I must travel it for myself. For so long I had worried about what I “should” be doing. Or what was expected of me by “everyone” (as if everyone was paying attention!).

I then quit my job and moved to Rome, Italy with my sister and started working as a waitress in Rome. It was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life.

3. Entrepreneurship - After I returned from Italy, I needed to earn a living so I went back into the corporate world for a few years. Again, it didn’t feel right. I finally saw a life coach myself and discovered that coaching was what made me come alive and that what I really wanted was to have my own business.

I saved a couple months of salary, became certified as a coach and quit my “great job”. Again, one of the best decisions I ever made.

Each of these decisions (while scary) were right for me at the time in my life.

Life has so many cycles and so many things happening.

Here are 4 steps to understanding when to take a risk:

1.      Know your end goal - Spend time figuring out where it is you want to end up. What is it that you want to eventually accomplish? Freedom? Happiness? Get specific on what this vision looks like for  you. If you don’t know where you are going, how will you know how to get there?

2.      Get clear on what the steps would be to take the risk – Chart out what it would take to get to that end vision. Would you have to go back to school? How much would that cost and how much time would it entail? Would you have to move? Write a step by step list of what it entails.

3.      Understand the difference between fear and reality - After you make that list, I guarantee  your good friend “fear” is going to rear it’s ugly head. “You can’t do that.” “See how ridiculous that sounds?” “That will never happen.” “How could you possibly afford that?” The best way to tackle this is to write down all of your fears around the steps. Get them all out. Then put a “F” for Fear or a “R” for reality next to each one.

4.      Chart out a plan - Now that you are clear on what the steps and the obstacles are to achieving your end vision, chart out a plan on when you want to make this change. And what steps are you going to take when? Even if it isn’t the right time to make a change right now, there are always steps to be taken prior to the big change. Which ones can you start doing now?

Sometimes you may have to take one step back to take two steps forward. And sometimes, you might just be in the place where there is too much else going on in your life to do that. And that’s okay. All that I ask is that you are aware of where you are at. And that the decision that you are making is intentional.

It is made with exploration and awareness, not with fear.

**

What was the best risk you’ve ever taken?

It has always been a dream of mine to be a public speaker. While for some people speaking in front of a group is enough to give them hives, I find that derive a lot of my energy from presenting to a group.

Particularly when I am speaking about finding work that you love.

I am a big believer in manifesting what you want by focusing your thoughts on the outcome you want to achieve. In tandem, I believe in taking any small steps you can towards that outcome.

It’s the double whammy approach.

And time and time again I have seen it work in my life.

When it comes to public speaking, I have seen myself in front of a room of 500 people. I have seen myself speaking at retreats in gorgeous settings. I have seen myself speaking on TV reaching out to large audiences.

This past weekend, I was lucky enough to speak at the Haas Business School Women in Leadership Conference on a panel discussing how to find your purpose. (coincidence??)

In preparation, I enlisted the help of the best. Holistic performance coach, Loryn Barbeau. She uses yoga and ayruveda to take people’s performance to the next level. I thought I’d share my experience with all of you so that it could potentially help you as well.

Let me begin by saying that Loryn is very special, she has such a deep knowledge of holistic tools to help achieve balance. Just being around her, I feel as though she is almost psychic and has incredible powers. The first thing she did was have me do a mock presentation. At first I felt nervous, silly really. I tried to imagine myself speaking to a room full of people as opposed to an empty living room with just her there. As my presentation went on, I channeled my high school drama training and stepped into it.

Loryn stopped me about mid-way through and had me sit down for feedback. She told me that since my main dosha is Vata (we had discovered this a few months ago), I have a tendency to be quick and lively in my thoughts and actions. I have an airiness or lightness to my movements. (Also indicative of my astrological sign Aquarius)

How this manifests itself in my public speaking is that I can lack in being grounded. Which means that I talk quickly and jump from one thought to the other excitedly. And physically I am lighter in my stance. What is missing is two feet planted firmly on the ground. Thoughts that are succinctly and directly spoken with intention. Pauses between thoughts to allow my words to register with the audience.

I also tend to use “um” in between thoughts. Instead she asked me to pause. Let the words I speak settle with the audience.

We then moved into the food side of preparing for presenting. She began in talking about the best teas for me to drink. Because I have a lot of Pitta in me which represents fire, she recommended that I drink mint tea which is calming and cools the fire inside of me. She also talked about licorice as a performer’s elixir. It is a lotion for dryness and a “blanket for nerves”. She said it is also a harmonizer herb that mixes well with anything. You can find all of these teas at the store or steep them yourself.

For breakfast, she recommended that I stay with warm and mushy breakfasts, especially on a cold morning. Because I am Vata, I tend to be more on the dry side so it is important for me to hydrate myself both in liquids as well as in the foods that I eat. Flax seed oil will moisten and hydrate my cells. Drizzling raw olive oil on sandwiches.

We then moved into meditation. I have recently just started meditating. It is something I have always wanted to do but never really knew how to do it. Until I heard Oprah say to start by meditating for one minute per day. I thought to myself, “one minute? I can do that.” And so I started with one minute.

Before I go to bed, I close my eyes and focus on my breath. Then I read at Tiny Buddha to count to 100. That felt like something I could hang my hat on. Now I am up to about 4-5 minutes per day and I have really noticed a difference in how it has quieted my mind and allowed me to fall asleep easier at night.

Loryn gave me another meditation that is grounding/calming where I use the sanksrit words “So Hum” which translates to “I am That”. When I breathe in, I think “So” and when I breathe out I think “Hum”. She explained the breath naturally makes these sounds when we breathe in and out. Try it.

My next session with Loryn will be a session of customized yoga and meditation for me. I can’t wait.

I think one of the best things about understanding how focusing my thoughts to get what I want is the people that I have attracted into my life. They have been like magnets to me. I’ve been training my brain to operate at a certain frequency (all with A LOT of scientific and spiritual research) and have seen what has come my way as a result. It is pretty mind blowing.

As an update, my presentation at Haas went really well (at least I think it did!) and as I later told Loryn, I was more concerned with the content of what I was presenting than I was with how I was presenting. She prepared me well.

**

Have you experienced any of the above in public speaking? What has worked for you?

About five years ago I was earning a six figure salary. I spent an average of $1,000/month on new clothes. I ate out about 4x/week and didn’t think about how much I was spending. I went on fancy vacations that I couldn’t always afford. When my paycheck came every two weeks, I mumbled to myself that I was underpaid for the work that I was doing.

People always say to me that they don’t want to change careers or do the work that they truly want to do because they are not willing to give up their lifestyle. I can’t assume that they mean what I wrote above but I think that’s what they mean.

When I was in a job that didn’t fulfill me, I tried to fill that hole by spending.

That’s the psychology that corporations understand. They are called the “Golden Handcuffs”. They know you are not doing what you are “meant to do” so they pay you handsomely. All to keep you there.

Being motivated by money alone will never satisfy you.

Let me say that I am not against making money. I am a big fan of abundance. Particularly when it is in line with what you love to do, is there anything better than that? I also enjoy nice things in life. I love staying at nice hotels, I enjoy eating out at great restaurants, I love to shop.

Let me also say that I am well aware of the extremely tough economy and the need to pay rent/mortgage, groceries and stay afloat. Please know that when I say “lifestyle” I am not talking about “getting by”.

What I am talking about is a shift in thinking about what you THINK that you need.

Let me use myself again as an example.

Since becoming an entrepreneur, I have definitely changed my lifestyle. And I have never been happier.

The biggest gift that my cut in salary gave to me was: mindfulness.

Here is a sneak peek into the ways that I have become more mindful in my spending.

Eating Out: We now eat out about once a week. And when we do, it’s usually at one of my husband’s restaurants where we get a discount. Of course for special occasions, we splurge and try somewhere new. Although for Valentine’s Day, my husband cooked (and he NEVER cooks) an absolutely delicious meal. I would have taken that over any fancy restaurant.

Instead, I now cook most nights of the week. I have become aware of some amazing cooking blogs like my favorite Tastespotting. I have started meal planning so that I save at the grocery store and stick to only what we need. The benefit to all of this is that we are eating healthier. We are having family dinners together at home. My son watches me cook and loves to help. (Truth be told, the “helping” can get kind of annoying but is also cute.)

Also, since I work from home, I eat both breakfast and lunch at home so I save money automatically there. I used to spend at least $10/day on my lunches. I was never able to get it together enough to bring my lunch to work. Plus, I was so miserable that I wanted to get out and enjoy a nice meal somewhere.

Shopping: I rarely shop anymore. When I do, it is usually at Target or Forever 21 and I think I secretly love being able to find great pieces for such a low price. There is a pride in it. Also, like many of you, I used to wear 20% of my wardrobe 80% of the time. I didn’t NEED all of those clothes.

I also no longer need the wardrobe that I did when I was in the corporate world. Particularly when I worked at Gap, Inc or Williams Sonoma, Inc. there was so much pressure to look put together and stylish. It was a fun challenge sometimes but what I found was that it was just a hamster wheel that became exhausting.

Purging: Again, one of the greatest gifts has been the shift in perspective that Shira Gill (personal organizer) gave to me. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have and want, what about focusing on what you have to give? It sounds so simple but it was paramount to me. Suddenly, I got an incredible high from going through every closet and bookshelf and drawer in the house and giving things away. It was better than buying anything. Suddenly having less felt better.

Dog walking: Up until fairly recently, I was having two dog walkers per day. I still depend on one for most mornings during the week but in the afternoon my son and I take our dog to the field where he picks me flowers and chases the dog.

Presents: This has always been a sticky one for me because I think this is the biggest reason that I want to have abundance because I’d love to be able to shower people with lavish gifts. What’s better than that? But my coach and close friend Erin Brennan is an absolute genius at creative gifts and has really helped me come up with some incredibly thoughtful and low priced gifts.

Charity: The only way I used to give to charity used to be through donations. And when I worked in a corporation, I felt like I was always asked to donate to this charity or that charity and while I was happy to help, it never held any real meaning to me. Now, I try to do charity through other ways. I donate my time and my skills to help people. I am constantly giving things away clothes and things in my house. And I have chosen one charity to give to for the whole year: Kiva.

If I won the lottery today, I’m not sure how much I’d change.

That’s a pretty big statement. So let me think about it. Of course there are things that I would change. Don’t get me wrong. But what I mean to say is that I know that (or hope!) that my mindfulness will always stay with me. That it isn’t about the money. It’s about being intentional with my money. And it is about feeling good about the money that I earn.

My hope is that this will help to shift your perspective around why you can or can’t leave a job you are unhappy in. And that you will take notice of each time that you have earned a salary increase, be mindful of the level of happiness that it has given you long term.

And what’s to say you couldn’t earn the same in a career that also fulfills you?

***

I hope you will share with me your thoughts on this post as it was a very personal one for me. I hesitated to press “publish” but I know that it is something that needs to be said.

I get asked a lot how I balance being a mom, an entrepreneur (“mompreneur”), wife to an entrepreneur, mom to a high maintenance but oh-so-adorable big dog, friend and as I call it “house manager”. Balance is something we all struggle with. And it is by no means something I have perfected.

Balance, oh that word. You know, I can say this. I was talking to my best friend today and I told her how I’ve never felt more like myself than I do right now in my life. Despite feeling pulled in different directions, I really do feel like I’m beginning to step into the fullest expression of myself.

I haven’t always felt that way. It is always the times of big transition that have always been the hardest for me, as I think they are for most people. My freshman year of college was miserable (don’t ask). The first six months of living in New York were incredibly lonely and anxiety inducing. My first 3, 6, 9 months of being a mom were not my finest hour.

I actually wasn’t even planning on having this blog post be about change but here goes. Now that I am sitting here thinking about it, all of the times that I really challenged myself and stepped out of my routine or my comfort zone were pretty difficult for me. My yoga teacher the other day said to us (as we were in pain holding a certain pose), “sometimes you have to get through the poison to get to the nectar.” I liked that.

But what came out of all of these experiences have led me to where I am today. Those times where everything felt “off” and where I felt anxious because I felt out of control in not knowing what the future held for me, those times really did make me stronger. That feels so cliche to write that. I can’t think of another way to say it though.

So to come back to it, how do I attempt balance it all? Well, I have managed to be extremely efficient and scheduled in my day. I even resorted (gasp) to making a meal planner for the week. I do have to admit that it has really helped. I also print out my calendar of appointments for the day in the morning and on the right hand side write down the 3-5 most important things I have to get done for the day. If I get those things done, it’s a good day.

But trust me, there are days where I am writing a blog post such as this with my son on my lap while my screen is split and there is a kids you tube video on one side and my blog on the other. Or where by accident I run out to a client meeting and I grab a kids book and a diaper instead of the client file.

As with everything, I know that I and my life are a work in progress. But what I love more than anything is that it all feels like it is on the right path. I’m headed in the direction I’m supposed to be headed. I may stop a little longer here or there than I’m supposed to or rush past something else that I’m not supposed to. But the direction where I am going feels right.

I’m lucky enough to say that I think I’ve found what I’m made for.

Where are you right now? On the right path? Headed the complete opposite direction? Standing still?

Today is less of a “Jimmy Choos” day and more of an Uggs day.

I’m currently up in Lake Tahoe, CA for a little “R&R”. Or as much “R&R” as one can expect traveling with a almost two year old boy and an active mountain dog.

I still managed during nap time to sneak away and FINALLY sit down and really dive into my goals. I had previously written them and I think they were a bit too lofty. And the more I am learning and growing, the more I am understanding about the importance of seeing results.

A lot of life’s satisfaction is about seeing results, don’t you think? I know for me that one of the things that I love about yoga is that every time I go, I notice that I can do a certain pose a little better or can stretch a little deeper. It is gratifying to see results. Even having a child, I hate to say it but those first few months while my son was growing physically, he wasn’t doing much but sleeping, crying and pooping. And then he smiled for the first time. And then he laughed. Those milestones are so beautiful.

In fact, I like that word “milestones”. We all need them.

This year I am going to try something diferent with my goals. I am going to set up a goals “calendar”. And I am going to mark each week or month (depending on the goal) how I am progressing. What my milestones are. Maybe I’ll use stickers or I’m not sure yet. In fact, anyone have any great tips for this that you want to share with me and everyone else?

One of the other key factors in goals is accountability. You must share your goals with others. So that when you run into your friend Sarah and she asks you how you are doing with that one goal of yours, you are held accountable. Otherwise, human nature is to sort of forget about them and hope no one notices.

I am stepping up to the plate, being vulnerable and sharing my goals not just with a few friends but with all of you as well. Will you help me stay accountable?

Here goes:

Health:

Yoga 2x/week

Try one 2new recipe/week

Indoor rock climb 1x/month (I wanted to say more but am going to start small)

Business:

Earn x amount/month (sorry, I can’t share ALL details)

Get written about in the NY Times by June 2011

Hire virtual assistant for 20hrs/month by March 2011

Personal:

Read two books/month (1 non-fiction, 1 fiction) – currently reading Freedom & Superfreakanomics

See one movie in the theater/month

Travel:

Take 2 trips per year with husband (1 big trip & 1 weekend trip)

****

There it is, my goals in all of their naked glory.

I also want to say that for each goal, I created baby steps that lead up to each goal. I won’t share those with you as it is boring. But I think it is important to mention for your goals. For example, Take Yoga 2x/week. For this one my baby steps are:

1. Look up yoga schedule
2. Put classes in my calendar
3. Schedule time with my husband to watch my son
4. Update goals calendar after each class

Get it? So that there are steps to make sure each goal happens.

Thanks for being witness to my goals and helping me continue to grow. What about yours?

Haven’t written yours yet? Come to Manifest + Mingle next week and I would love to help you!

I was in yoga this morning and while trying to do tree pose (the one where you balance on one foot), I found myself unable to balance and I kept falling. It was very frustrating as I looked around the room and saw everyone serenely balancing with their hands in prayer. I had to remind myself that the reason that I was falling was because my mind was not focused. I had a million thoughts in my head and I was looking around the room and comparing myself.

But most importantly, I did not have my eyes focused on one spot. I find that is the only way that I can keep my balance.

Big surprise that this experience was a metaphor for so many other things in my life. I subscribe to a blog called Raising Happiness and one of her posts really hit me. She said that she found herself most annoyed with her children when she was trying to multi-task. When she was focused just on them and nothing else, she was incredibly happy and satisfied.

I have found that to be so true in my parenting as well. If I need to hop on the computer or make a call or my mind is elsewhere, I find myself being short and irritable with my son. But when I put everything aside and focus on just playing with him or even just reading a magazine while sitting next to him, I am a truly happy parent.

When I meet with my marketing coach Erin Brennan, I always come to our meetings with a million and one ideas and things that I want to execute. She always has to rein me in and encourage me to focus in on one thing that I want to accomplish. I need that.

It is so difficult to focus on one task given our society and technology today but it has been proven over and over again that those who are most successful are those who can focus on one task at a time. And truth be told, there is no such thing as multi-tasking. We may shift from one task to another very quickly but we can only truly do one thing at a time. One of my favorite books that talks about productivity is called Eat That Frog. And one of the main points is the importance of focusing on a single task and completing it.

One of the best things I did this year was turn off my Outlook new message notification. No longer does that little box pop up in the corner of my screen distracting me away from my task at hand.

What have you done that has been helpful in keeping your focus?

How awesome is that statement?! “Grant yourself the authority to be an expert.”

Awhile back I had a call with a coach named Pam Slim that I highly admire and I was talking about how I couldn’t do this or that because I wasn’t an “expert” yet.

And she said to me, “grant yourself the authority to be an expert. No one else will.”

And that advice hit me like a ton of bricks. She was right.

Who was I waiting for to do it?

One of the most common things I hear people say is, “Who am I to do/say/write (blank)?” It’s the “little old me” complex. “Don’t mind me, I just work here.”

It is so easy for all of us to hide behind the excuse of not enough ”experience” or “not being (insert adjective) enough.”

Guess what? No one is.

No one was born ready doing what they are doing.

Take President Obama. Do you know how many people probably told him he wasn’t experienced enough for was too young or not the right race or whatever else? And I don’t have to tell you how that story ended. He won.

Here’s the deal. We were all given natural talents. There are some things that just come naturally to all of us. We can’t explain it.

And if those natural talents happen to be something that you really love doing and know that you could help a lot of people / bring happiness to people by doing it? Well, it’s time to grant yourself the authority to be the expert.

So, what does that actually mean to grant yourself the authority to be an expert? Well, it means if there is a promotion at work that you really want but feel like you aren’t qualified. Or if you want to start a business but think you don’t have enough experience to do it.

Please know that I am not advocating that all of us haphazardly start running around claiming to be the expert of things we know nothing about and end up falling flat on our faces.

Who I am talking to are those who know enough and who are just using this as an excuse to hold themselves back from what they want in their lives.

If that is you, please take this as one “expert” talking to another. It’s time.

Last night I hosted a class called “Get Me Outta Here” where we talked about how to take leave a job that doesn’t serve you and find work that does.

Here was the process we used:

1. Start at the End – If you don’t know where you want to go, how will you know how to get there? We took the time to map out what everyone wanted their career and lifestyle to look like in 5 or 10 years.

2. Purpose - Too many people focus on following their “passion” and that is a mistake. Our passions are very different than our “purpose”. I can be passionate about gardening but that doesn’t  mean I should be a gardener. (I’m not passionate about gardening btw, my garden is in desperate need of tlc, but I digress…) Start thinking instead in terms of your natural talents + skills + interests.

3. Career Priorities – When thinking about your career, it’s the same as looking for a life partner or even a house. What are your top three priorities and what else can you accept?

Too often we either focus on all of the things we know that we DON’T want. (“I know I don’t want to work in front of a computer all day, I know I don’t want to be in meetings all day.”)

And when you focus on what you don’t want, guess what you get??

Focus on what you DO want. Conversations start to change when you do that.

Laundry List

We also tend to have a whole laundry list of all of the things that we are looking for and we don’t assign more weight to one than the other. 

When you are looking to change careers, is having flexibility in your job more important than how much money you make? Is it more important for you to believe in the company you work for (or that you start yourself) than where the company is located?

Here are some priorities to think about:

__ People –

__ Location –

__ Money –

__ Flexibility –

__ Responsibility –

__ Content of work –

__ Passion for what you are doing -

Overcoming Fears

What I found most interesting from the class last night was that most of the people there actually deep down inside had a dream of what they would love to do but there were major fears that were holding them back.  And these were all extremely bright, talented and successful individuals.

It all comes back to our purpose. 

Again, here is the equation:

Natural Talents – What talents were we given at birth those things that just come REALLY easy to you?

+

Skills - What skills have you learned along the way (resume items)? 

+

Interests - What things are you drawn to? If you had all the time in the world, what would you do?

If you ask how do you overcome the fears you have, I can’t help but think, who are you NOT to live to your purpose?

The world is waiting for your contribution.

Just take one step towards it. Talk to one person who’s doing what you want to do. Take a class. Buy a book about it. Volunteer. Write a business plan.

The only thing that quiets fear is action.

Prove your fears wrong.

If my friends are the orchestra, they create the music of my life.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I’ve noticed that I have a really varied group of friends and that they all in some way make up who I am. There are many sides of me. Many sides of all of us. And I’ve noticed as life continues to get busier and busier, I don’t see everyone as much as I’d like to.

But if I think about friends as an orchestra and they create the symphony of me, it makes sense that at certain times in my life (symphony), there are certain friends (instruments) that are appropriate for the moment.

And I am the conductor. Whatever music I need to hear at that time, I call on those instruments.

Here are the instruments in my life:

Entrepreneurs - With these friends I can sit for hours and brainstorm ideas and discuss marketing theories and tactics. I can get lost in discussions about different books we’ve read or forms we’ve created or partnerships to create.

Moms - Here I get to complain about being up at 5:30am twice this week (ugh, yes true) or get advice on how to relieve my son’s stuffed up nose. I can have partners to share in the joy of  watching our little ones grow and discover in awe the world around them.

Spiritual  - These are the ones where I feel like I can express the kind of hippie-dippie things I feel about the universe. Where I can talk about the power of energy, chakras, healing. I can have the “what are we here for?” conversations with them.

Yoga - These friends end up spanning a wide range of age, race and culture. They are the ones that share my love of yoga and together we fall, we push ourselves and we celebrate each other’s small successes. (“Way to go on that chaturanga!”)

Childhood - They have known me for as long as I have known myself. There is no judgement. No need to “catch up” or “explain”. They just know. We have been through every phase of life together and have changed and grown in so many different ways from each other. But at the end of the day, we have such love and respect for each other. And will ALWAYS be there.

Party - Yes, there is still that side of me that still loves to jump up on a booth every once in a while and shake my booty. Here I get to express the side of me that loves to dance, laugh and be in the center of the action.

What about you? What does your orchestra look and sound like?

I created this worksheet to help you create your own symphony and to figure out what you are needing or craving right now in your life.

Would love to hear your thoughts!