Last week we had a great event with Jeffrey Riddle where he talked about how to leverage your network. And one of the things that he talked about really resonated with me. He said that with technology today, so many of us are only worrying about the masses, i.e. how many Facebook fans/friends you have or how many Twitter followers. We are trying to broadcast our message to everyone. But how many people are actually listening?

And in the process, what has happened to our relationships with people?

It’s funny because my Dad was came to the event and he has been a stockbroker for many many years (I’ll spare the number for him!). And I thought about how he built his business. It all started with relationships. Lunches with friends. Knowing the names of his client’s kids and their birthdays. Going over to each other’s houses for dinner.

It was about relationships. And what Jeff said in his presentation was that the bulk of our “referrals” (and this can be compared to anything, getting set up on a date, finding a new job, anything where people help you) comes from the people you know. It’s the people who trust you and have a personal connection to you. 

Let me give a few examples of this:

Dating - If you go on a dating website like  match.com, there is a lot of work to be done to promote yourself to a lot of people. You have to start from the beginning. These people don’t know you, you don’t have (as Jeff put it) ‘trust, credibility or personal connection’ with them yet. But you do with your core connections within your network. Have you tapped into them? I mean really tapped into them. Who do they know that they think you should know? How can you ask for their help? (Sidenote, I actually think dating websites are great but think dating strategy should be combined with personal network)

Job Search – You hop on Craigslist or Monster and you send your resume out with the masses. You are one of who knows how many. Again, there is no trust, credibility or personal connection built in with the people who receive your resume. But what about the people in your network? Who do they know? How can they help you?

Starting a business – We think about how can we get PR? Listed on Daily Candy? (speaking of, anyone know of someone who can help me get on there??) But how do we combine that strategy with building our business on the shoulders of people we already know who want to help us? Those who we have built a relationship with.

When I work with clients one of the main things we do is work on how to leverage their network. I worry less about job postings and more about what companies do you want to work for? Who do you know that works there? If you don’t know anyone, look on LinkedIN and see if anyone you know knows someone there. (Feel free to become my connection on LinkedIN as my connections may be able to help you.)

Today, think about what you need right now. And who can help you with it? Now pick up the phone or send them an email and ask them. And ask how you can help them in return.

Let me know how it goes!

I don’t think the mailboy is wearing Jimmy Choos. How do I become the CEO who is sporting them??

***

I just finished reading an awesome book called E-Myth that was given to me by referral expert Jeff Riddle. It had my mind absolutely buzzing.

The book talked about why 80% of small businesses fail within the first 5 years. And the long and short of it is that too many small business owners work IN their business instead of working ON their businesses. For example, an event planner who starts an event planning company could be fabulous at creating a spectacular event with all of the right details. But she also works on managing her clients, her accounting, getting PR for her business, creating a website, updating the website, invoicing, etc etc etc.

And what happens is that small business owners wear a million hats, their business grows, they can’t keep up with the demand because they don’t have the bandwidth nor do they have the overall strategy (who has the time?!) and then their business fails.

They are not the CEO of their business.

One of the exercises the book had me do was to create an org chart of my business as it stands. I broke my business into Sales, Marketing & Operations. And within each of those, I listed out the roles and responsibilities of each. As you can see by looking at mine (if you can actually read that small), I am trying to do too many things.

I am not acting as the CEO of my own business.

The CEO should be creating the annual/quarterly strategy, hiring, managing people and systems and be the face of the company.

That is what takes your business to the next level.

One of the other things the book talks about is creating systems to streamline your business. It uses McDonald’s as an example. How there is a very specific Operations Manual for McDonalds that tells people exactly how to make the french fries, what the uniform looks like, how to greet the customers, etc. It is clearly laid out how to run the business.

This makes it so that anyone could pick up this Operations Manual and run your business while you are doing other things. Like…shopping for Jimmy Choos??

So, this is what I am working on now. I’m trying to work myself out of the mailroom of my own company and into the corner office.

Have you seen this in your own business/work/life? Do you feel like you are stuck in the details and don’t have a clear big picture? Would love to hear your thoughts on it!

My brain is always running. It twists and turns and flips and is in constant motion. If it had a body and burned calories, it would be in perfect shape.

I can’t get it to stop.

I’ve tried meditating many times. It lasts about 45 seconds before my mind starts racing again.

“Did you think of this?” “Here’s a great idea!” “They are doing it better than you.” “Have you called themyet?” “What are you going to make for dinner?” “Did you leave the oven on?” “That movie was really good, what was it called again?”

You get the point.

Then I read this article called Remembering to Forget and it really resonated with me. It asks you to imagine if you had no garbage cans in your home. Imagine all of the waste that would build up.

Or if you had no way to remove waste from your body. (ewww, gross, I know!)

Then think about your brain. What do you do with all of the “waste” i.e. thoughts/data in your brain? If you don’t come up with a way to “release” it, it accumulates.

That’s a whole lot of crap in your brain.

And with technology, our brain rarely has the opportunity to just be. It is always being fed with more information. And even when we do have those moments, we have forgotten how to just be.

The other day I stopped to look up at the stars. Something I used to love to do when I was a kid. I could lay there for hours just staring up at the sky. I tried it this weekend. Guess how long it lasted?

One minute. Yep, a whole whoppin’ minute.

Instead I sat and thought about the book I wanted to finish and other things I had to get done. I couldn’t just be.

One of the things that has really helped me is at the beginning of each week and the beginning of each day keeping a planner of all of the things I want to accomplish.

I let this be my brain dump.

Just to release it from my brain and put it on paper. I try to store my thoughts other places as much as possible.

That’s why journaling is so powerful. Take it out of your brain and put it somewhere else.

Give your brain a rest already.

Still surviving in life without a pair of Jimmy Choos…

I have created a life for myself that is very full. And that is in a really good way. But it also has it’s downfalls. One of them being that I am extremely busy (who isn’t?!).

I am in pursuit of more life balance.

But what happens when I am really busy is that I find myself easily annoyed.

I’m not proud to say it. But it’s true.

There are people or things that people do that just bug me.

And I have found that dwelling on this just gets me more riled up and is a total waste of time and energy.

I’ve tried talking myself out of it. Or talking to others. Or trying to see the positive.

But in the end the only thing that I have found to REALLY work is so cliche…Be the Change You Want to See.

Because I think (I’m still thinking about this) that the things that really bother us in others are actually issues we have with ourselves. And so what I’ve been trying is that when I find myself annoyed by something someone does is to be the person that I would want in my life.

I recently read somewhere that asked, “Would you want to call you if you needed a friend?” or “If you wanted to share in great news?” or “If you needed someone to really help you out?” or “To have fun going to happy hour with?”

There are a million of those questions. But the bottom line is, would you want you as a friend?

I think the answer is yes for me.

But can I do better? Absolutely.

So I’m going to work on being the change I want to see.

What about you?

I don’t actually own a pair of Jimmy Choos.

But I’d like to one day.

This is my new blog series about my life as an Entrepreneur. A mom. A wife.  A friend. A…oh the list goes on. The trials, the tribulations, the perception, the reality.

My hope is that you’ll be inspired to make the leap to do the work you love or at the very least, start figuring out how to get on the path towards it.

That I’ll expose you to some cool new things and people.

And if nothing else, be a break in your day where you can experience walking a mile in someone else’s shoes.

**

This past weekend was really fun. While I love being a mom and wouldn’t change it for anything, I wish I could say that I have a lot of “fun”.

I usually find myself really…busy. I’m either out and about at  a park or a museum or I’m working on my business.  But this past weekend, we sent my son off to my parent’s house and out we went.

As I was going to bed after a fun night out socializing with all of our friends (I think I even hopped on a booth to dance like the old days!) where I didn’t have to worry about what time I needed to get home to pay the babysitter, I turned to my husband and I said, “I miss me.”

And I don’t actually think it is just because I’m a mom. I think a lot of people can probably relate to what I am saying.

I get so caught up in my “routine” that I lose sight of who I am and what makes me feel fulfilled. For me, being social and being out with people makes me really happy.

Which is difficult to do when you are a mom. But regardless, something I need to remember.

I schedule everything into my life (too much so!) that I am going to begin scheduling “fun” in.

**

One of the other things I did this weekend was go check out my “Aha” moment interviewee, Stephanie Jones, lead a breath work meditation class at Crunch gym on Union Street in San Francisco.

This was one of the most intense life experiences I have ever had. At the beginning of the class she asked us to think about what we wanted to bring into our lives.

Then she said to imagine that we found out that we found out that we were going to die tomorrow. How would that change what we want to bring into our lives? That definitely was food for thought for me.

We then proceeded to lay down and start doing breathing exercises. She played awesome music (U2, etc) and came around and rubbed chakra oils on us.

The physical reaction I had blew me away. I don’t want to give too much away but I highly recommend that you check it out!