I have a friend who should be a writer but instead works in an unfulfilling job in a cube. I asked her to  share her comical experiences from the corporate world in a new Guest Blog Series called Tales from the Cube.

Since she is not yet flying the coop and quitting her job, we must keep her identity secret and will call her “Miss Em”.

I hope you enjoy as much as I do (and I’m sure many of you can relate!)

If you have similar funny experiences or just want to say you enjoyed it, please leave a comment as I know the writer would much appreciate it on her first blogging debut!

xo-Suzannah

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That’s a Wrap!

Over the course of my career, I have been asked to do many random tasks that have absolutely nothing to do with my everyday job duties. This has lead me to create quite an impressive faux resume: IT specialist, human GPS, maid, exterminator (OK, that is kind of a lie – I once volunteered to kill a cockroach in the women’s bathroom but ended up shrieking and running out, arms flailing) and most recently, gift wrapper extraordinaire.

This past Valentine’s Day, I was asked by one of the managing directors in my office if I would wrap some boxes for him and, in exchange, he would buy me lunch. Now, anyone who works in an office – any office – should be able to attest to the fact that no one walks away from free food so of course I said yes.

At this point I should probably back up and mention what was in these boxes.

The day before, this guy had come up to my desk and asked me, “Is Victoria’s Secret considered cheap?” Well, I guess that depends on how you define “cheap”. I personally think VS is rather overpriced, but if he had asked about Fredricks of Hollywood, that would be another story. So I went ahead and ignored the fact that the conversation was slightly inappropriate and went online to find him a more expensive lingerie store.

Then things got a bit awkward. He decided it was necessary to tell me what he planned on getting his wife for V day, which was

a) a pair of silk PJs to “her” from “him”

b) something “smaller” to “him” from “her.”

Why he felt the need to tell me this is beyond me. These people all tell me all kinds of things I really don’t need to know.

Cut back to the following day, when, as I am wrapping these two gifts for my free $10 lunch, he tells me that I can look at them if I want. Ummm, now why would I want to do that? I don’t even want to know what is in these boxes, let alone SEE them. And I’m pretty sure the wife wouldn’t want me looking at her lingerie, either.

Just as I think it can’t get any more awkward, he says, “What?? It’s just a black teddy – it’s not crotchless or anything.”

Ummmm, thank you for that visual. I will file that away under things I hope to never hear again.

Just another day at the office.

One of the most common things I hear from my clients is that they want to write. It’s something that we often discover when we start to dig into what makes them come alive or what they are passionate about. I also love writing which is why I hired a writing coach, Ali Lawrence.

I was talking to her the other day and asked her if she would write a guest blog post for us on how to set yourself up to be published. I’m also planning on attending her writing workshop next week called “You’ll Never Believe What Happened to Me” where she will help us write our creative non-fiction piece (think The Hangover or Eat Pray Love).

Guest Blog Post by Ali Lawrence, Writing Coach

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Notes on writing a publishable piece…

Getting published can be as easy as hitting “publish” on your blog and as death defying as writing your very own, “Eat, Pray, Love.” You need to enter into the process with strategies of coping with both the highs and lows of being a writer. Some days it’s as wonderful as writing the most sublime line of all time, knowing it, and basking in the sunshine of your talents, and some days it’s as brutal as getting an unexpected rejection letter in response to what you thought was a sure thing. The crazy thing is, these both can happen on the same day! I recommend being brave. Don’t ever send in something that you aren’t at a point with at which you don’t want it critiqued. And remember, rejection is usually just a 72-hour bug.

That being said….

Being an amateur writer, not dissimilar to being an amateur musician, can be a solo endeavor. It’s hard to get people to sit and listen to your latest piece or song.  Sure, it’s YOUR baby, but to them (a.k.a. roommate, boyfriend, sister, etc.) it’s that thing you are making them listen to over and over again and comment on.

My first advice is to go out and get yourself an audience! Buy one if you have to.  You are going to need a second and maybe even twentieth opinion from someone outside of those contractually obligated to think everything you do is amazing (think your mother or best friend). Try a writing group, coach, or workshop, and be open-minded! A dynamic assortment of readers can be very useful in getting a range of feedback. A trusted community of opinions will not only be your fresh ears and eyes they will ask questions of your work that you wouldn’t ask yourself. In the transfer from your brain to the page to the audience, a lot can happen, never underestimate the power of that event (the power of interpretation)! In addition, learning to read other’s writing under these circumstances can be as informative as the benefits of having other writers read and comment on your work. The exchange of ideas from writer to writer should also be a great source of inspiration.

Speaking of inspiration, what’s yours? Oh no! Are you feeling uninspired? If you are hanging your head in shame, stop, because you are not alone! Everybody knows that sometimes we’re up, and sometimes we’re down. I know this whole blog is about getting your writing into a publishable state—but we all hit the wall sometimes and when that happens there is no writing! So, you need to get a diversion tactic on hand so when you bump up against those nasty tricks your own brain can play on you, there is a way to counteract the downward spiral that inevitably follows.

Here is a list of activities that may sound trite or elementary but they have proven success fighting against mind-blankage:

1)     Go for a walk

2)     Open a book to a random page and read it—find a word you love and use it immediately. Read in general, it’s always good for what ails—and it’s like brain calisthenics.

3)     Go to a museum or a gallery.

4)     Scan the room and find something and describe it as you would to a blind person.

5)     Allow your mind to wander, you might need a break.

6)     Watch your favorite movie.

7)     Try writing your earliest memory, start with the line, ” I remember….”

The most important thing is to not fall into the trap of thinking that just because you aren’t working on what you had intended to, that you aren’t working.  It’s ok to have multiple projects going at once, or a burn project that happens simultaneously with your main project.  The point is you are never wasting your time if you are exercising your writing muscle. Think of it like a hardcore runner would.  If you are a serious runner—you love it, but if you hurt your knee you will need to find another way to get your endorphins kicking while your knee is healing.  Swimming is to running, as writing a review of a restaurant is to writing a memoir.  Any writing is better than no writing.

A basic checklist for editing and revising is always handy.  Once you are in deep with a project and things are going well and you have a trusted team of readers and listeners on board—the process of revising and editing should be well underway.

A perfectly natural step to writing is unwriting.  It can feel like you are committing some unthinkable crime against your own, but it is so absolutely necessary to be able to edit away even the lines you love most if they are in the way of achieving your ultimate goal.  Some find it very helpful to work with an outline, some go commando—whichever is your poison—know your objective, it will faithfully carry you through.

Editing/Revising Checklist:

1) Read your work out loud to yourself, and not just once, more like 42 times—this is a full proof way to catch minor errors, know if the tone of your piece is just working in your head or if it is universally successful.

2) Be fearless. Strike anything that isn’t working, even characters and scenes. Remind me to tell you about the gun in the glove box sometime.

3) Sharing is caring—be sure you have taken other’s constructive feedback and considered your options.

4) Title your piece. This can happen for some at the end of a project, at the beginning, or in the middle of the night. Whenever it hits—be sure you are ready—titles have a reputation for being squirrelly and elusive.

Try getting into a groove. I always find that much like exercise, the more writing I do, the easier it is to weave into my daily life. Soon, you will be running home to work on the opus of your life!

Remember not to be too hard on yourself, like anything else, if it’s worth your time in the first place, it’s not going to happen over night!

SO:

• Practice makes perfect
• Take notes all the time—if you don’t, trust me you WILL forget that amazing line you thought of in traffic, walking to your yoga class, or in the shower—I recommend always having something to write on nearby!
• Write about what you WANT to write about first.
• Read!
• Risk!
• Revise!
• Relax!

And if you take nothing away from this rant, take this, please: Know your audience! If your plans with what you are working on is to get it published and out into the world—know into what world you want it shared.  Knowing your audience can be as organizational and directional as a thesis. Publishers represent an audience, do some research on who is out there, what other types of writing do they work with—look for patterns in their choices, this can also be very informative to your writing.  You definitely want to look alive when putting yourself out there; it’s a critical point of reference to know your market!

Now write!

 As I was pigging out on pumpkin pie and laying on the couch reading the newest US Weekly last week during my Thanksgiving Break, I had a thought that I am probably not the only one who has a hard time staying motivated during the holidays.

I tend to indulge in all of the sweets and rich foods, I exercise less because it’s too cold outside for me. I let myself get stressed with holiday cards to send out and gifts to buy and packing for travel and etc etc etc. 

This all made me think of my personal trainer and one of my favorite people, Jennifer Pattee, who is definitely the most motivated person I know. Not only has she built and runs her own company Basic Training,  but she is also training for the North Face Endurance Race this week which is 50 miles. Yes, you read that correctly. 50 miles.

So I asked her if she wouldn’t mind writing a blog post on how she stays motivated and hopefully we can all absorb some of her magic dust.

**

All my goals are stupid, pointless, and boring. It’s true.

Running fifty miles? Quickly? What a waste of time. What’s the point? Definitely super boring.

Becoming a running model? Wow, how vain. With that flat chest and those hips? Really? At 39?

Then there’s doubling the amount of money my business makes in a year. How greedy and materialistic. Seriously.

Thought you were Buddhist? 

Take two weeks off next year and travel. Jeez, that’s just throwing money away. Who are you going to travel with? A singe woman bike riding across Thailand and Vietnam? Sounds dangerous. You can’t even reach your destination with GPS in your car. Who are you kidding?

And so it goes, on and on. All the sabotaging talk and voices in my head that chip away at my motivation. 

I am not a person who dabbles. When I go for something, I go all the way or not all. Which is great when I go all the way. But when I start to doubt myself? I give up completely.  My good friend and neuroscientist Dan Pardi calls it “perfection paralysis.”

However, in the last few years I have placed in the top 10 for my age group for 30 and 50 mile races, I’m getting callbacks for ad campaigns running in Outside magazine, and this year when I filed my taxes I had to pay twice as much because yes, I had doubled my income.

So how did I outfox all the sabotaging voices, quit doubting yourself, and keep moving forward?

I learned a little about who I am, embraced it, and created some tools to keep me tethered to my goals.

1) I thrive in structure. Therefore, as long as I have a road map, I’m good to go. When it comes to my ultramarathon training, a road map means having my training plan detailed day by day for six months out. I know exactly what i need to bring and do at each workout ahead of time. All I have to do is show up.

2) I am a visual person. Show me a picture of something and I understand it completely. The image becomes etched in my head, and I will never let it go. To keep me motivated towards my goal of sports modeling, I took a picture of the cover of Outside magazine (where I want to end up someday) and I keep this image everywhere: in my apartment, on my refrigerator, even the “lock screen” on my cell phone. I truly believe that you need to have a picture of each goal you are going after that you can refer to all day long.

3) I need community. Why? Because goals are lonely pursuits. Believe it or not, I have a hard time finding friends to run fifty miles with me. I know, weird. So I had to find other weirdos like me who enjoy trail running. It wasn’t easy. And believe me, I had to stick my neck out. But I found them: thanks to my fellow ultrarunning friend Charles Lantz I found a group of dedicated endurance athletes who hit the Headlands once a week at 5:30 AM to clock in twelve miles before work.  I can’t keep up with them because they are some of the fastest runners in the state. But every time I run, I know they are gunning for me. It’s the best feeling in the world. Combine that with a mountain top view of sunrise breaking across the San Francisco skyline and I can’t imagine anywhere else in the world I would rather be.

4) I need accountability. I hired a running coach at the start of my season this year, to set myself up to train in the best and most efficient way possible. She sends my workouts to my phone every day, and i check in with her regularly. sometimes daily, sometimes weekly, sometimes monthly. she is always there, holding me accountable to my goals. every race. every injury. every step.

As my friend Jon pointed out, when i asked about his decision to work with life coach,  “Pro athletes don’t show up to games without being coached…”  I decided if i wanted my life to be extraordinary, i shouldn’t show up un-coached either. hands down, it’s been one of the best decisions i’ve ever made.

So, to re-cap:

Working to achieve personal goals is incredibly important work, but no matter what your goals are, inevitably you will struggle. The closer you get to achieving your goal, the more likely you will lose motivation. Along the way, there’s a good chance you will experience setbacks. The bigger, scarier, hairier the goal, the more likely it is to challenge your current identity, which means your current self is likely to resist change and sabotage your progress.

How to stay motivated:

1) Roadmap – give yourself a roadmap sketching out all the steps it takes to achieve your goal(s). post it somewhere you will see daily. i also keep 3-ring binders for each goal i am working towards.

2) Image – pick an image that represents your goal and put it somewhere you will see often. You don’t have to put it in a place everyone can see it — inside your closet or even your wallet works too.

3) People – surround yourself with people who are passionate about the same boring goals that you are. see them weekly, if possible.

4) Coach – hire a coach to help you navigate your path, overcome setbacks, and hold you accountable along the way.

Reaching for goals, trying to better ourselves, occasionally getting hurt or falling on your face  — it may be stupid, pointless and boring …. but it’s also the only way we will know what it means to be fully human.

It’s the greatest thrill on Earth.

And It’s the only game in town.

Good luck.

I’m excited to announce that this is the first guest blog post that I’ve had on our blog. LinkedIN is a crucial job search tool that I require all of my clients to use. And Joseph has done a great job giving the basics on how to best use it.

If anyone else is interested in writing a guest blog post, please email me here with your idea. I can’t promise that I will publish all of them but if it is a right fit, I’d love to have your voice on our blog.

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LinkedIn is an amazing online tool to connect with others on a professional level. It can get you a job, reconnect with old business partners, and start to figure out new business ventures. Its popularity is a fairly recent phenomenon, and it can be confusing as to how to use it best. Here are some Dos and Don’ts to live by on LinkedIn.

Do connect to your friends. Though a social networking site for professionals, do add your real-world friends to your network. Most professional relationships start on a personal level anyways, and it can never hurt to expand your network. That said…

Don’t connect with random people. LinkedIn itself discourages people from being “invitation spammers.” Have a reason for inviting users to connect with you. Even better, ask people you know and are already connected with to introduce you to other users. When inviting people you don’t know to connect, have a reason for doing so that you explicitly state in your invitation, such as that you are interested in a position with their firm or want to connect with others in similar positions in your field.

Do update regularly. Never let your profile languish; make sure it is as up-to-date as possible. Add any new responsibilities you’ve been given or skills you’ve acquired to positions already listed. Also, when you update, others connected to you will be notified, so you may catch the eye of someone looking for your skills to fill a position at their firm or company.

Don’t use LinkedIn like Facebook. This is a social networking site — use it to make professional contacts. Your profile should reflect the professional nature of the site: pick a mature, candid picture (and not one of your Halloween costume or out with friends partying) and don’t update your status with drivel about your pets or your plans for the weekend. Think of LinkedIn as an interactive online resume.

Do include personal notes. Always, always, always write a personal note when asking for a connection or a recommendation. The standard notes LinkedIn provides are impersonal and a turn-off for who you’re sending it to. If you’re asking someone to take the time to give you a recommendation or introduce you to someone else, you need to take the time to send them a personal message. 

Joseph Gustav writes for the up-and-coming career blog, Pounding the Pavement. In his free time, Mr. Gustav also tackles topics related to call center management for Guide to Career Education.