With the 49ers now in the playoffs, I’ve been reading and hearing a lot about our coach Jim Harbaugh.
From a football perspective I’ve seen what he’s done with my husband’s alma mater, Stanford and now with the 49ers and it’s hard not to be impressed.
But what I’ve been most impressed with is the life lessons that I’ve seen from him that I wanted to share with all of you.
3 Life Lessons from 49er Coach Jim Harbaugh
1. “Who’s got it better than us? Noooobodddy!!!!” – The story goes that when Jim was growing up, he and his brother and sister lived in a very modest house without a lot of material possessions.
But their dad, college coach Jack Harbaugh, would often gather his kids around and say, “Who’s got it better than us? Nooooboddy!” And now Jim has started that in his pep talks to the 49ers. It has spread like wildfire.
Bottom line, attitude is everything. Whatever is going on in your life right now, it can all be changed by your perspective alone.
2. Frederick P Soft – Jim introduced his team to a four-inch guy who sits on your shoulder and talks right into your ear. He named him “Frederick P Soft”.
He’s the voice that keeps you complacent and soft. That tells you that you don’t have to work hard or that you should just stay in the shadows and not ruffle any feathers. How many of you feel like you have allowed Freddie P. Soft to take over your life?
3. “Attack this day with enthusiasm unknown to mankind!” – Every day when Jim’s dad would drop his kids off to school, he would say to them; “attack this day with enthusiasm unknown to mankind!” I love that!
It is essentially the antithesis of Freddie Soft. So many people I talk to continue along with their days without any sort of enthusiasm.
What if you were to live by that mantra for one day? What do you think you would accomplish/experience in that day?
If you know someone who you think could use a 49er pep talk, please share this post.
I like to think of the New Year as a “reset” button. I find this to be particularly true after the madness of the holidays.
I don’t know about you but I feel as thought I lose all focus and intention in the month of December. While I love the holidays and all that they represent, I also find myself in survival mode to get through them. Buy gifts, send out cards, rsvp to parties, make small talk, book babysitters after babysitter, etc etc.
And so I approach the new year as if I am wiping the slate clean and starting fresh.
I thought I’d share how I set my goals/resolutions/intentions for the year in hopes that it can help you to also start fresh on the year.
The first thing I do is create a vision board for the year. This is a visual representation of what I want the year to be about. I will be doing a video on how to do this later this week AND am hosting a workshop on how to do this as well.
GIVE THANKS - Here is where I take a moment to give thanks for what I already have in my life. To think about not what I need or what I want to accomplish but instead take note on all that I already have.
WORD FOR THE YEAR – Try to think of one word that you’d like to represent the year. Examples: “Abundance. Romance. Laughter. Health. Security. Adventure. Discovery. Solitude. Calm.”
SET SMART GOALS – When I say “smart” it is actually an acronym. Specific. Measurable. Authentic. Resonant. Thrilling. Basically if this goal doesn’t get you excited and up and talking about it, it’s not a good goal. I break my goals into five areas:
Health
Career / Financial
Relationships
Home
Fun
ACTION PLAN – Here is where I usually see people go awry. We take a lot of time setting lofty goals and then we lose steam and forget to create an action plan to achieve them. I find that using plannershelps me to get specific on how I’m going to reach my goals. Last night I sat down before bed and I started with the annual planner and worked backward to the quarterly, monthly and then to the weekly. I find this to be extremely helpful and effective.
I hope that you found this helpful, if you have any questions feel free to email me or comment below.
Also, I have a ton of exciting events coming up in the next few months.
This month:
Manifest + Mingle – A vision board workshop with wine, magazines & a chance to use a glue stick
o January 19th | 7pm | The Republic | $25
Replenish Retreat – A one day retreat studying food, sleep, movement, goal setting, compassion and wellness. (You don’t want to miss this!!)
I had seen this Ted talk with Brene Brown passed around but I just sat down to watch it now and I highly recommend that everyone watch it as well.
She is a researcher who studies social/human behavior. And her work was trying to determine the difference between those who believed they were “worthy” of love and those who didn’t.
There were two main points that stuck out in this for me:
Let go of who you should be for who you are
Embrace vulnerability
In honor of the above, I thought that I’d share (and be vulnerable) an exercise that I do at the end of each year where I look back and think about the year that has past. Here goes:
Reflecting on 2010
1. What are you most proud of in the last year?
There are a few things I am proud of:
a. Raising a pretty cool little guy who is about to turn two. I will not by ANY means say it has been an easy ride but now that he is really starting to talk and his personality is shining through, I have to say that I think so far my hubby and I are doing a pretty good job.
b. Getting on Daily Candy. How did I do it? I set it as a goal of mine, I talked about it a lot, I built my business so that I’d be ready for it and then I just asked to be considered for it!
2. If there were a newspaper headline describing this past year for you, what would it say?
Mom/Wife/ Entrepreneur/ Friend/ Sister Tries to Do Too Much But All Turns Out Okay
3. What unfinished business do you want to resolve before the year end and when will you do it? (i.e. lingering relationships, apologies, goals yet to achieve)
I can’t think of anything here but maybe I am just blocking it out because there isn’t much time left this year!
4. When were you most excited about life in this past year? What were you doing? Who were you with?
I think it would be all of the people I have met this year. I say this all the time to people but I think that one of the best parts of changing careers and starting my own business has been that I have met SO many kindred spirits.
Not to sound all woo-woo but I feel like because I am now my true, authentic self I am surrounded by and attracting similar people into my life. I have never felt more like myself and that is reflected by the people in my life.
I feel that way about the clients who come to me as well. In the beginning of the year, I worked with my marketing coach to determine who my ideal client was. Who I’d be most excited to work with. And that is who has come to me. It has blown my mind.
Speaking of, that is the other thing that has made me so excited about life. Time and time again I have seen with myself and with my clients that as soon as I or they got super clear about what we/I want, it manifests. It seriously spooks me out. I don’t know why I am surprised anymore. But everytime it happens, I get really excited.
5. Looking back, what would you have done differently in 2010?
Hmmm…I would say that I would have said no more. That I would have worried less about spending time with people or doing things that I “should” do and focusing instead on what I want to do.
7. Where did you let fear hold you back from a goal you had?
I have definitely let fear hold me back from pursuing writing more. “I’m not a good writer.” “It’s too competitive.” “It’s too much work.” “I don’t know what I’m doing.” And the fears go on and on.
Which is why I just hired a writing coach and am commiting to writing a lot more in 2011. I want to start contributing articles with my expertise and one day write a book! I’m asking you all to hold me accountable!
8. What was boring to you this year that you hope to change for next year?
My hobbies. I definitely do not feel like I did enough things that were dedicated to my interests. I recently read this article in the Huffington Post and it really resonated with me as it talked about “life intelligence” and the importance of using your free time in an engaging way.
Here is what I want to do more:
Yoga, Indoor rock climbing, Dance, Movies, Weekend trips, Comedy Shows, Picnics with Wine & Cheese, Swimming, Creative pursuits – (not even sure what these would be?!), Lecture series, Aimlessly window shopping at an outdoor mall (random, I know but I am always chasing a 2 year old with my stroller at the mall), Spirit Rock.
**
That’s it, my reflection on the year. In all of its guts and glory. I hope you will do the same.
Now I will relax for the holidays and then get ready in planning what I want out of 2011.
For those of you in San Francisco, I hope you will join me on January 19th for something I am SUPER excited about -Vision Board Workshop- Wine, Magazines & a Chance to Use a Glue Stick.
Thank you to all of you for helping to make this such a great year. As my friend said to me, hold on to your hat, 2011 is going to be an awesome year!
The other day I was in yoga class and I came this close to crying and running out of the class.
Let me begin by saying that without a doubt practicing yoga has changed my life.
When I am in a yoga class, I feel like I am nourishing my body with the best the world has to offer.
It has changed my perspective on life.
But sometimes, it is too frickin’ hard.
This past week I went to a new yoga class and the teacher had us pracitice side crow pose (shown in the picture). Okay, before you are impressed, I didn’t come anywhere NEAR to what that girl is doing.
But I tried and I tried and I think I got one toe off the ground. But that was only because I sort of jumped in the air attempting the pose.
As everyone in the class was fumbling through it, a few people got up and left. Now, this was only halfway through the class. And let me tell you, I was seriously contemplating doing the same thing. My body hurt. My ego was crushed. I was frustrated. All I could think was “yoga is supposed to soothe my soul and this is driving me crazy.”
After those few people left the class, the yoga teacher spoke to us. Hetalked about the difference between people who stay and people who give up. He said how the only way we will grow in our practice is to stay through the hard times. That even though our feet aren’t getting off the ground, our body is strengthening to what we need it to do. Our mind is creating new synapses to teach us how to do it.
We may feel like nothing is happening, but more than we know is.
And this hit me as such a metaphor for life. (as it always does in yoga class) Taking risks in life is hard. Pushing yourself in new ways is hard. Testing your limits is hard. Doing things differently than everyone else is hard. Which is why most people never do it.
They are the ones who get up and leave.
But if you stay and you practice and you put in the work, it pays off. You really do reach heights that you never thought were possible. Now, please know that I am not talking about staying in a miserable job. That does not pay off.
I’m talking about when you push yourself to learn something new. When you challenge yourself. When you say to yourself, “Let’s do this.” That’s what I’m talking about.
So take this as a challenge to think about how are you pushing yourself right now?
As I was browsing around the internet, I came across a cool blog by a girl named Cassie Boornwho isher 20s and she asked for people to write letters to their 20 year old selves.
Since I found my mid twenties to be particularly challenging, I thought this was a great idea.
So, here goes:
**
Dear 20-something Suzannah,
I know everything feels so uncertain right now. You are living in New York city working in design for The Gap and while you love everyone you work with, you hate your job. You are single and out almost every night. And being in New York on September 11th had a major affect on you. Talk about uncertainty, you are always afraid there is going to be another attack.
Let me begin by telling you how proud I am of you for moving you New York. That took a lot of guts. And while it’s not an easy life. You will grow from it in ways you never imagined.
Being single can really suck sometimes, I know. You swear you are never going to find someone. If there is one thing I can tell you, it is that while you think you are ready to meet someone, you aren’t. You still have so many amazing things to experience. Things you wouldn’t do if you had a boyfriend. Like dance with Mick Jagger at 2am on a Thursday night at Bungalow 8. Yeah, that actually happens. Or at the drop of a hat decide to move to Rome. That wouldn’t happen if you had a boyfriend.
About that move to Rome. Right now, it’s something in the back of your head. Just a thought. But I know you worry about what that move will do to your career. And you worry that your parents think you are crazy. You are sitting up at night wondering what you should do. Let me be here to tell you that moving to Europe is one of the best decisions you will ever make. While no one really understands it, remember that they are not you. They don’t know what you need. Only you do.
I think that is the most important thing I can tell you. (kind of getting choked up writing this) You are not everyone else. What works for other people does not necessarily work for you. That includes your family. That includes your friends. That includes acquaintances. While taking risks and stepping outside the box is often hard, it pays off in the end.
So listen to your gut. Don’t worry about your “resume”. Don’t worry about “when” things are supposed to happen. Don’t worry about how you “should” feel about this or that. You feel how you feel.
And all of those nights that you stay up writing in a journal about how miserable you are in your job and brainstorming possible careers you could change into, guess what, you are going through that for a reason. You may just end up helping people who feel just like you do. But you have to go through it first to help people later.
Oh, and about the guy you are so worried you are never going to meet? Guess what, he ends up being better than anything you could have imagined. Well worth the wait. So chill out.
**
That was pretty cool to write! I would LOVE if you would write a letter to your 20-something self and post it in the comments section below . It is a really neat exercise. Now, I’m just thinking about what my 40 year old self has to say to me. I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed and stressed right now so I could use her advice!
I got a huge response to one of my favorite posts A Letter to My 20-Something Self so I thought I would do something similar and write to my corporate self. And for any of you reading this right now who left the corporate world, I’d love for you to do the same on your blog or in the comments below so that you can inspire others who are craving some advice from someone who has been there and survived to tell their story.
**
Dear Corporate Suzannah,
I know how you are feeling right now. You wake up every morning to that damn alarm and curse it. Beeeeep. Beeeeep. Beeeeeep. You think to yourself that there must be a more pleasant way to greet the morning. You are not a morning person. And you know deep in your heart that you are craving to wake up when your body tells you it is ready to wake up. (Wait until you have kids, that all changes again)
Once you finally surrender to the fact that you have to wake up and face the day (except on those days where you overslept – which happened probably a little too often for your boss’ liking), you dress up in business casual clothes. “Ugh, really?”, you think. Black slacks, a button down and heels. Could that be any less like you??? Now you are grumpy from waking up early AND you have to put on these cheesy clothes that not only look bad but are incredibly uncomfortable. You throw your hair in a ponytail, put on a little makeup and as quickly as possible rush out the door.
It isn’t until you step into Starbucks and finally get that beautiful cup of serenity called a soy latte that you start to feel a bit better. There is something about the ritual of getting that coffee in the morning that makes everything seem more tolerable. (This also continues in motherhood)
Finally you make it into work and you try to rush past your boss’ office but usually she stops you and while you still have your bag on your arm and crust in your eyes, she is talking to you about production delays and meetings and God knows what else. You think, “is she for real?!”
As I write to you, it is so clear on why you were so miserable. All of this is so not you. You are casual. You ease into your day. Structure makes you uncomfortable. You are not a fan of routine.
It doesn’t matter that you are good at what you do and that you are successful. That doesn’t mean you should stay there. Being good at something doesn’t mean that is what you are meant to do. I’m good at cleaning my house but that doesn’t mean I should be a housecleaner.
You know deep in your heart that you are meant to be an entrepreneur. You just don’t know what the heck you would do or how you could possibly support yourself. You’ve run through it a million times in your head. Could you move back into your parent’s house to save on rent? Could you give up your Starbucks? (gasp!) You research. A lot. That feels safe. It feels like you are doing something without really actually doing anything.
What’s my advice to you? It is ito know that there is a reason for all of this. It may not feel like it but you are learning a lot. And guess what else? No matter what happens in your life, you have built a name and a career for yourself that you can always fall back on. Life can take strange twists and turns and to know that if you need to, you can always go back and earn a living doing corporate work if you need to, you can.
And one day you are going to do work that you love that is helping people going through the same thing you are going through right now. And you can relate to them. You get it. In order to get to point B, you have to go through point A which is where you are now.
My other advice to you is to start taking action. It is the only way to dispel fear. Set a date for when you want to transition out of your job. Start there. It feels concrete and you can create a plan around that. Then figure out what you have to do to be able to do that. Who can you talk to that is already doing what you want to be doing? Are there classes you can take? Networking events you can go to?
Just start doing something. Fear can be paralyzing. I know it. But that isn’t you. You are a mover. So take action. And don’t wait until you are so miserable that you make rash decisions. (Yes, you do that) Start when you realize that this isn’t what you want to do but can still stomach being at work. Take advantage of your salary, your benefits. This is the time.
You’ll get there. I promise. And when you are there, I can’t promise it will be easy. But it will be worth it. You will finally feel like yourself. You won’t believe that you get paid to do what you do. It happens.
One of the best parts about Twitter is the people you meet. I’ve heard it described as a cocktail party where what you tweet is like the mini conversations you have with people.
I started following Kade Dworkin after he interviewed someone who I really look up to, Pamela Slim. What Kade started is a daily podcast called Meet My Followers (definitely check it out!) where he interviews one of his Twitter followers everyday. How cool is that?
Anyhow, I was fortunate enough to be interviewed and more importantly to meet Kade. I already consider him a friend of mine.
Please check out the podcast where I talk about:
How to create a vision for your career
The secret formula to determine your “purpose”
What it’s like being married to an entrepreneur
Who I follow religiously on Twitter
And thanks to Kade for the interview, it was so fun!
Click on the play button below to listen to the interview!
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Often times when I ask clients what kind of company they want to work for or who their ideal customer/client is, they answer “I’ll take anything right now”.
Jack of all trades, master of none.
People’s success is directly related to their ability to leverage their network.
Look at these two elevator pitches and let me know which sounds better:
“I’ve been looking for a job for awhile. I don’t really know what I want to do. I just know I don’t want to do this. What companies interest me? I don’t know. Really, I’d take a job anywhere. Do you know of anything?”
or
“I’ve realized that I don’t want to work in my current industry anymore because it doesn’t support my creative skill set. What I’m really looking to do is work for a small to mid-sized marketing firm, preferably based in San Francisco and works with tech companies.”
Just reading that, which statement brought more ideas to mind to help the person?
Get it?
Please take “anyone” “anything” “i don’t care” “whatever” out of your vocabulary.
Here is a case to prove my point. A few months ago, I was working with my incredible marketing coach, Erin Brennan, and we came up with who my ideal client is. We pulled a picture of her out of a magazine, we came up with her age, where she hangs out, kinds of activities she does and even gave her a name, “Kelly”.
Last night I hosted a sold out class called Get Me Outta Hereand as I looked around the room, it was full of “Kellys”. It literally blew me away.
Before I had said, “But I want to work with everyone!” And guess who showed up? No one.
Be specific with what you want and let people know so that they can bring it to you.
I like to think of myself as pretty advanced in recognizing when there is something I am only doing or saying because I think it is what I “should” be doing. I even call my clients out on it almost everyday.
But for some reason, “shoulds” still stick around. It is very annoying.
For example when people ask me how many kids I want to have. I think about what I ’should’ say. Is three how many I ’should’ want?
Or how much I want to work as a mom. I have found that society is most excited to hear that I work part-time. For some reason I think people feel good about that balance of working and taking care of your child. Note to self, what I ’should’ say.
When I first said I wanted to be a life coach, boy, that was definitely not what I ’should’ have wanted to do. I was looked at like I had a third eye. But thankfully I didn’t listen to the shoulds.
I think when it comes down to it, I usually don’t follow through on what I think I should do. I’ve figured out that step. But the damn “shoulds” still enter my mind.
Am I alone on that? Anyone else have a case of the “shoulds”?
In honor of Thanksgiving this week, I thought I’d make a list of all that I am thankful for.
I got a huge response to one of my favorite posts 
My mission is to inspire others to find what they were made for.
